Miki (my four-legged fur sister) and I take the same route for our morning walk each day. Down the driveway, take a left and walk a few steps, then left again onto a narrow lane that’s barely wide enough for one vehicle. A firetruck once blocked the entire width as it tried to make its way through; it had to back up and hit our fence pole in the process. They didn’t say a word, but our neighbor saw it happen.

The backsides of homes line both sides of this lane. As a result, it’s nice and quiet, and no one really knows about it unless they live in the neighborhood.

At the very end of the road (or beginning), the main thoroughfare is visible for a few feet between two hedges. The two-lane road takes residents to the small town below then onto the freeway in the mornings, and back home — “up the heights” — in the evening.

Each day I see cars, trucks, motorcycles and mopeds flash by in an instant as they pass between the hedges. It’s a brief glimpse of drivers/riders focused on the road ahead as they think of getting to work, running into town, doing errands, etc.

It’s a world of which I’m not a part of at the moment.

It’s not quite one year since I last worked in the office — eight months of being on furlough, and now, laid off.

There’s no doubt that a lot of people and businesses have suffered during this time, but I’ve come to be thankful for the time away from work. No deadlines, no stress, no overtime, no traffic, no early morning or late afternoon/early evening drive times or troubled sleep.

Beyond that though, is the opportunity to separate myself from a job I’ve worked for almost 30 years. I’d been wanting to make a change for the past couple of years, but couldn’t find it in me to leave my second family, the comfort of a steady job, and having a set paycheck.

With this time away, I’ve been able to spend time with my mother, take care of the house, plant a garden, get out on walks and hikes, and enjoy and appreciate the singular moments each day provides

When I look up and see the world at the end of the road focused on its daily pattern, I feel disconnected, as if I should be in it too. I’m not of retirement age after all.

Is it wanting to be part of a company again? I do miss my coworkers and the camaraderie we shared.

Is it guilt that I should try harder to get back into society? To get back to the nine-to-five?

Do I simply miss having someplace to go, someplace that requires my skills to get the job done?

Maybe the question should be, do I want to return to that world?

I’m grateful for the opportunities ahead, and do know I’ll be spending more time with mom; she’s not as independent as she once was. I also know that I enjoy going to the grocery store, bank or post office — even driving on the freeway — in my own time, at my own pace, minus the rush of people and cars all around. No more rushing to the grocery store on the way home before it gets too dark for a walk.

And nowadays when I do go out, I’m much more appreciative of being able to interact with people and not be in a rush all. The. Darn. Time.

So I’m preparing myself for what lies ahead, one step at a time, and hopefully, there’s no big ‘ole firetruck blocking the way.